In this episode, you will learn how to fully access the potential for individual and relationship growth that exists in every relationship by striking the right balance between becoming and boundaries.
In our individualistic culture, people often have a well-defined sense of self and specific expectations for their romantic partners. While this can be helpful in setting boundaries, too much identity attachment can prevent individuals from learning, growing, adapting and maturing over time based on the contribution of the relationship in their lives. Too much rigidity can also create a sense of alienation between partners and prevent the relationship and the individuals in it from evolving over time.
Conversely, many people mold themselves to their relationship too much. They may do this because they are people pleasers, because they don’t know how to stand up for themselves, or because they don’t have a strong sense of self. This type of person is more likely to be steamrolled in their relationship, creating deep resentments over time that are difficult to fix.
Fortunately, there is a middle ground in which each person stands up for themselves at appropriate times and in others, accepts difficult situations as opportunities for growth. Tune in to learn how to develop a strong yet flexible sense of self, how to use feedback from your partner to maximize your potential for growth, and how to know if you are adapting to your relationship in a healthy way.
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“That’s the beauty and wisdom of relationships: we bring people into our lives and they have a different world view and they have different perspectives and habits. If we just treat all those differences as annoying artifacts that we have to deal with, then we’re not fully open to who we can become through relationship.” – John Howard
- How to develop a strong yet flexible sense of self
- Prerequisites for striking a healthy balance between becoming and boundaries
- The problems with being overly attached to your identity
- Why feedback from your partner can help you change in ways you could not have by yourself
- The ways that openness to becoming will bring you more peace in your daily life
- Why openness to change is especially essential in non-monogamous relationships
- How to know that you are adapting to your relationship in a healthy way
“Relationships are one of the most efficient pathways for collecting feedback about our blind spots.” – John Howard